In A Class of Their Own
by Just A. Dora
Summary: SEQUEL TO 'THOUGHTS OF CLASS'. The darker ending to the unspoken dream...


"Miss Evans, are you feeling alright?" Professor McGonagall asked again.

"I….I don't know," Lily stammered. To say she was embarrassed would be untrue. She was mortified.

"Try again," McGonagall instructed. Lily cleared her throat nervously. She pointed her wand at the sheet of parchment on her desk, and, painfully aware that the entire Transfiguration class was staring at her, proclaimed clearly:

" _Singlus ad Lilborum!"_

Now, the parchment was _supposed _to turn into a book. Instead, it began to trim itself into a chain of paper dolls. Lily stared at it helplessly.

"Singlus ad _Liborus_, Miss Evans. _Liborus. _Anyone else in need of assistance?" Nobody answered. Lily hung her head in shame.

**Poor Lily. What's wrong with her anyway? She looks okay…more than okay, as usual…**Sirius mused.

**Maybe she's just tired, maybe she was up all night… studying. Merlin, I hope it was studying. **

**Calm down. It must have been, I mean James was in the dorm all night, and Lily is not the type to stray. Unfortunately.**

He sighed and laid his head down on his own, enormous transfigured book. He jumped up when he realized what its title was: _I Dream of Lily, By Mr. Padfoot._

Stealing a glance at James (who thankfully wasn't paying attention to anything but his girlfriend), he turned it over, only to be faced with a photo of himself, in class as he was now, staring at Lily in the background, with a string of droll sliding down his chin.

Panicking, he transfigured the book back to a sheet of paper with a quick swish of his wand.

"Excellent, Mr. Black! Ten points to Gryffindor!" Sirius jumped. He hadn't meant for anyone to notice. And McGonagall was giving him a very funny look.

"Now, everyone read pages 43 to 90 for homework," the class, not surprisingly, groaned, "and expect to be tested on this spell on Monday. Have a nice weekend."

And with that, the class leapt up and prepared to run away for two glorious days of no classes. The Marauders were in the lead.

"Mr Black? Could you stay for a moment? Thank you." Sirius stared at McGonagall.

**What have I done? I'm completely certain I haven't done anything. **

**Lately. Okay, almost certain. 96 sure…**

"We'll hang around outside. Don't be too long," James ordered. Sirius smiled at him gratefully, and watched them leave. Turning back, he was very surprised to see he wasn't the only one McGonagall had wanted to talk to. Lily was waiting at the front of the class, not looking as though she wanted to be here.

**She saw the book. Merlin's balls, McGonagall saw the book. I'm a dead man.**

"Mr Black, that was some very impressive work today. I don't think it would be unwise to tell you that you have been at the top of this class for quite some time…

**Around fifth year. It happens when you spend half your time in the library learning how to become an illegal Animagus. Oh, Jesus, it's that isn't it? We've been rumbled.**

...producing some extraordinary work, so I don't suppose you'd mind tutoring Miss Evans for a little while until she regains her footing."

Lily blinked. "Huh?"

**I don't think 'Huh' quite covers it, sweetheart.**

"I would do it myself, but with exams coming up I haven't the time. The tutoring sessions, provided they help, will replace your homework, although coursework will still be compulsory…

**No homework. Always a silver lining… **

...and I propose you begin this evening, if possible. Any questions?"

**Are you mad, McGonagall? Do you honestly want to get me into the scenario where James chops me into little pieces and sticks me on hooks for fish to nibble at?? Is this payback for all the times I've missed class? The punishment is NOT fitting the crime—**

"What about James Potter?"

**Yeah, what about James Potter?**

"Miss Evans, Mr Black is the top student of this class and does not participate in any extra-curricular activities that take up his time…

**Wouldn't you like to know…**

Mr Potter, on the other hand, is Head Boy, Quidditch Captain and," she licked her lips, choosing her words carefully, " I believe you would learn more regarding _Transfiguration_ if…someone other than James Potter tutored you."

**How's my hair? Oh dear. Okay, breathe. In fact, check your breath. Oh, maybe you should brush your teeth again.**

**Where's my toothbrush? Where the hell is it?! I'll use James'. Hang on, will she know? Will she be able to taste the difference…NO, because that would only happen if she kissed you, and we're having none of that.**

**I'll use Peter's toothbrush.**

**Stop behaving like a moron, Padfoot, this is not a date, it's just…**

…_a tutoring session. And he's just a boy. You shouldn't be nervous, you should be _embarrassed, _you stupid girl! Imagine, the Head Girl having tutoring sessions from Sirius. _

_Black. Sirius _Black_. In fact, maybe just Black. Less informal. _

_This is not going to end well. And if it does end well, you should be ashamed of yourself Lily Evans. Penitent. Forty Lashes._

_Lashes. With a whip…oh get your mind out of the gutter, girl! Look in the mirror. See, now you're going red._

_Oh, I need to do my hair._

**Yeah, I'm fine, James, just fine, mate.**

**If I swear I love you like a brother and that I would die for you, will you make my death swift and painless when you find out what I want to do with your girlfriend? **

**No, don't say that, you prat.**

_YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND! WHO YOU LOVE! THINK CLEARLY!_

_Sirius is single._

_YOU HAVE MORALS! AND A CONSCIENCE! _

_What if Sirius doesn't?_

_Oh, yeah, Alice, I'm fine. I'm only trying to smash the mirror with my head because I lost my hammer. Don't let me disturb you._

_Oh, look at that. Now you have to redo your hair, sort out that cut, and find a painkiller. The captain of the Titanic was calmer than you are._

**What time is it? Almost dinnertime. You get a last meal before you're thrown to the wolves. **

**You should NOT have said to meet her straight after dinner. You won't be able to hide for even a second, especially not if she sits with James. Which she will. Right in front of you, if you're really unlucky. She can watch you drool onto your spuds from her strategic view. It's geographical suicide.**

**What time is it?**

_Dinnertime! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!_

_Ahem._

_You don't HAVE to go down. Not if you're not hungry._

_Oh, thanks stomach. You rumble as much as you like. Thank you _so_ much. _

_Okay, here we go. Dinner. I can do this. I've eaten dinner before. And I'll probably need my strength for Sirius._

_That didn't come out right._

"**Oh, good grief, Peter, talk about something else! If Lily gets here and we're talking about girls' arses she's going to think we're a bunch of immature gits and she'll never sit with us again!"**

**I do not BELIEVE I just said that. And I sounded so whiny.**

**Oh, just shut up and eat your spuds. Try not to drool. Should be easy, she's not here yet.**

"_Hi."_

**Spoke too soon.**

_Hi. That was good. Direct, yet casual. Informal, yet a reasonable greeting. You're a genius, Lily Evans._

"**Lily, watch out for the—**

"_Ow!"_

**--Pumpkin juice…Peter spilt it…oh, here I'll help you up."**

_I'm not going to cry. I'm not. What do I care if Sirius thinks I'm a dozy cow?_

_Oi, Brain, I thought we were sticking with 'Black'. None of this friendly 'Sirius' stuff._

_He's got his arms around me. Holy crap._

**That's too close. That HAS to be too close. Oh no, she's got a cut on her forehead. Let me kiss it better.**

**Where the bleeding hell did that come from??! Well at least I didn't say it loud.**

**Did I? No. I didn't say anything. In actual fact…**

…_he's not moving. He's holding me by the waist, in full view of the whole SCHOOL, and he hasn't let go of me._

_Oh, now he has. That was too quick._

**That was far too quick.**

_He thinks I'm repulsive. He couldn't stand touching me, oh god, he hates me…_

"**Are you okay?" Oh hey, I put an arm around her shoulder. That was impulsive.**

"**Come and sit down." Yeah, come on. I'll take you back to your boyfriend and then you can watch me and my spuds perform our amazing Waterfall of Doom with my saliva. And tomorrow you can file for a restraining order.**

_Sit down. Stop shaking. And for God's sake don't cuddle him. He only has his arm around you because he feels guilty about pulling away from you. Because he's a gentleman, and he's sweet and considerate, and……_

…_who on earth am I talking about?_

**Why is she sitting there? That seat is directly next to my seat. Which means she's sitting next to me.**

**Which means the Waterfall of Doom has been cancelled. Aww, shame.**

_James. The guy opposite me. The sweet, considerate, gentleman._

_Not Sirius. Not the guy on my right. Not the guy who I'm rubbing thighs with._

**Oh Bloody Hell. Can't she move up? Peter takes up too much room, so unless I want to sit in his lap, I'm living with leg friction for the duration of the meal.**

_Do I mind? No. Because I'm staring at my gorgeous boyfriend. I'm a happy, loyal girlfriend._

_Oh_

**Holy**

_Jesus._

**My fly! My FLY!**

_Look away! Look Away!_

**Zip it up! Zip it UP!**

_Am I okay? Yes, I'm fine James. Pass the pants. I mean potatoes._

**Right. The Transfiguration classroom. It's dark in here.**

_Light some candles, the last thing I want is to trip up again because I didn't see anything._

"**Oh, thanks." Flattering candlelight. Very flattering, from where I'm standing. Do I look better in dim light?**

**I'm not sure I want an answer to that.**

_Strained silence. Oh joy. Why is he staring at me like that?_

**Oops, stop staring, you big oaf. **

"**Shall we start then?"**

"Singlus ad Liborus." The parchment on the desk instantly transformed into a small paperback edition of _Sense and Sensibility. _Lily gave a small sigh, praying that Sirius wasn't aware of the contents of that particular piece of Muggle literature. _Pride and Prejudice_ would have been better—that was the story of Lily and James. Just without the pinafores.

"Brilliant. See, it's easy," Sirius congratulated her from where he was perched cross-legged on McGonagall's desk. He changed it back to a single sheet. "Just add more emphasis on the _Liborus_, and you should get a bigger book."

She nodded and turned back to the parchment.

"Singulus ad _Liborus_," she intoned. The parchment was replaced by a huge, hardback copy of _War and Peace_. From where he was standing, Sirius suspected it was a first edition.

"Interesting choice," he commented with a grin. She flashed him a smile.

**Gorgeous smile. Must ask her whether she uses a whitener. **

"**I guess we're done then." Try not to make it sound so bloody obvious that you want her to stay.**

"_I guess." I guess I should go. Don't wanna go. Wanna snog his face off._

**Just get off the desk and leave. One foot in front of the other. That's right. Try not to get so close.**

**Very close. Too close.**

"_Sirius…"_

"**Lily…"**

_He tastes sweet-tart, like sherbet lemons and pumpkin juice. _

"_Oh, Sirius…"_

"**Oh…_shit!_"**

"_What?" Oh, god, what's wrong...what's…_

"God, James I'm sorry, I didn't mean, I mean I meant it, but I didn't _mean_ it," Sirius blurted. Lily whirled around in his arms, and gasped as he saw James standing in the doorway. The look of hurt and astonishment on his face cut her to the core. He wobbled back uneasily, before turning on his heel and leaving.

"James!" Sirius let go of her and made a break for the door, sprinting after her boyfriend. She hurried after him.

"James, look at me!" He pulled him back by the shoulder, only to have his hand knocked back as James whirled around to face him and shoved him backwards, sending him sprawling on the floor.

"James, I'm sorry," he pleaded, not bothering to get up.

"Get up!" James snarled. Sirius did, slowly, and found himself pounded against the wall—hard. Lily gave a small cry of hysteria, only making the situation worse, not to mention making James considerably angrier.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" he rasped, pinning him to the wall.

"James, don't—"

"Shut up!" He rounded on her. "Don't defend him!" he spat, finally deflating and stumbling back a few paces. "Why?" he whispered.

"James," she began, reaching forward to touch his arm.

"Don't touch me! How could you…how…how long?"

"No, nothing happened before this evening I swear," Sirius answered quickly.

"How could you?" he said again. ""Do you…you want each other, is that it?"

"No!" they said in unison, each hesitating a second too long before they answered. This didn't go unnoticed by James.

"Oh, God…" he stumbled back again, shaking his head in disbelief, quivering from head to foot. "No…"

"James, please listen. I don't…I never…I could never…I'm so sorry," he faltered.

"You can have each other," he whispered harshly in response, broken and degenerate. "I'll never forgive you for this Sirius," he added coldly, before he turned and fled up the corridor.

It took Sirius a split-second to react. He withdrew his wand, aimed it at his best friend, and yelled,

"_Obliviate!"_

Lily gasped. Ignoring her, he sped up the corridor towards James who had stopped, dazed and confused, with no memory of what had just transpired. He took a deep breath a few feet away from him.

"Look out mate!" he shouted, before he closed the distance between them, grabbed him by the shoulders, and hurled his head against the wall. It slammed with a sickening wet crack against the stone, and his limp form fell to the floor.

Lily screamed behind him.

**What the hell have I done?**

_Oh, my God James, no...JAMES!_

She ran up and he stopped her, catching her by the arms.

"Lily, Lily stop, stop, he'll be okay, I promise. He'll wake up tomorrow thinking he's got a hangover, and he won't…won't remember a thing."

_Oh my God, oh my God, no. _

She clung to his shoulders, breathing hard.

**Thank Christ she's not crying.**

"You…you're sure he'll be alright?" she asked timidly, looking up at him. They were very close.

"Positive," he answered hoarsely, unconsciously running his fingers along her arm.

"He won't wake up until tomorrow?" She lifted a hand up and ran it through his hair. He nodded dumbly, shifting to close the distance between them.

"And we can just…go back to normal."

They stopped, staring at one another, a deep sense of sadness overwhelming them.

"It won't work, you know," Lily said quietly.

"I know."

"I can't stop thinking about you."

"Nor can I."

"So what do you suggest we do, then?"

He motioned towards a heavy oak door a few feet away.

"That wasn't there a minute ago."

"We…didn't want it there a minute ago." She nodded as she realized what the Room of Requirement was doing there. She gestured timidly towards her boyfriend's still body on the floor.

"What about—"

"Oh, leave him," he blurted, closing his mouth over hers once again. She pulled him towards the door, and, as he reached to fumble with the door handle, she moaned into his mouth.

It was as if she'd slapped him. He stopped mid-kiss, utterly cold.

"No," he said flatly. She pulled away immediately, shaking her head, tears streaking down her face.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I can't…we won't…"

"Do this. We won't do this Lily."

"I know," she cried, stumbling backwards, "I know," she kept shaking her head, turning form him hurriedly and unsteadily as she staggered away from him up down the corridor.

In the few seconds it took him to decide, he saw that she deserved whatever he could give her. She had been reduced to a wreck within minutes of her betrayal, and he couldn't imagine she would last the night. And James…

**They deserve whatever I can give them. They belong together. I can live with that.**

**Just raise the wand, Sirius. You can live with this…just say the word…**

**NO, WAIT! You have the one thing you've wanted more than anything in your entire life and you're about to give it _back?_**

He stopped. Lily was nearing the end of the corridor. In seconds she would disappear from view. He took a deep breath.

"_Obliviate!"_

She dropped to the flagstone floor. He wandered briefly whether he should make more of an effort to tidy the scene, dismissed the thought, turned on his heel and left, alone with his thoughts.

**So that's it then? No more? You're not even going to _try_ and flirt with her again?**

**No. I'm really not.**

**And why is that?**

**Because it's not enough. She means more to James than…and James means more to me than anything. And your family is your family. I couldn't live with that. And neither could she.**

**_Ah_, but _you_ are going to have live with it, aren't you? You alone will carry the memory of this.**

**Can you carry that burden?**

Some while later, Sirius was back in the Gryffindor common room, lounging in a chair in his usual fashion, a mildly thoughtful look on his face, when James Potter climbed unsteadily through the portrait hole with Lily. Sirius raised an eyebrow at the pair.

"I'm afraid to ask," he said gently.

"I can honestly say that I don't remember a thing," James replied, very nonplussed. "I'm going to bed though. Night, mate. Night, baby." He gave Lily a kiss and began to make his way up the stairs.

"Yeah, me too," Lily said. "That tutoring session took a lot out of me, Sirius," she said, almost appreciatively, as she disappeared up the stairs.

"But you've got the hang of it now, Lil," James called to them both as he rounded the curve in the stairway. "You never know your strength until you're tested." Sirius nodded, swinging his legs over the arm of the comfy chair and staring with comprehension into the fire.

"Yeah," he murmured. "I get that now."


End file.
